Stage Fright! Tips And Tricks In Dealing With It

In this episode, Bojana and Harsha talk about something that all of us face - stage fright! It affects everyone, from the most inexperienced to the seasoned performer.

Our hosts talk about what it means to have stage fright - where you are unable to speak, move or do anything. They then explore into their first experiences of stage fright. For Bojana, it was at a childhood audition and for Harsha, it was a rather recent experience.

They also shared the different ways in which stage fright manifests in their experiences, and how they overcome it. If you have stage fright, this is the podcast for you to learn how to overcome it!

Transcription

Harsha 0:00

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the vocal studio Singapore podcast.

Bojana 0:03

Welcome. Hello. This is Bojanna. Hi, this is Harsha. Hello. We're both vocal coaches here at the vocal studio, Singapore. Yeah. And today we will talk about

Harsha 0:14

stage fright. Stage fright. It sounds like a Halloween like a horror film. Right? Wonder who came up with that word fright. Fright? Yeah, I'm frightened to go up on stage.

Bojana 0:27

Frightened? Yeah, fear, fear. It's too. It's a bit too big. But fright is like fright is like a fright. Right? It freezes you and diseases. You and yeah. You don't know what to do any more...with that.

Harsha 0:40

Have you felt frightened before?

Bojana 0:42

You mean, when it comes to stage fright?

Harsha 0:45

Yeah, I mean, not like, you know, someone came around across the street and was like (boo)

Bojana 0:50

yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, it is a very common thing, though. Although, it's very situational, I think as well, right. For for, for people who have more experience performing. Whereas for those who don't, they get that, I guess the real fright kind of thing, right, rather than just being a little scared. And then you just go there, and then you do your thing. But um, I think it comes to people, it happens to people to get that sort of fright as - as it is named to people who are not so experienced in performing for others. Right?

Harsha 1:31

Yeah, so people who are going up on stage for the first time, or they had to how did they find out that they had stage fright? I'm guessing that probably they had to make a presentation in school, or the first time they did something in school in front of their classmates. And that's when they realised that it's very frightening. I'm never going to do that again. Yeah. So that's when I guess they just say that, oh, I have stage fright. I'm not doing that again. Because it was very difficult. It was very scary. Right, right. But also, that's break the feeling of this fright. What is it? Like? Do they just go up there and freeze? They can't speak? They can't make eye contact? Like what is it like? So? You've been performing since you were really young? Right? Yeah. So what was your first experience? Do you remember?

Bojana 2:19

At actually was very long. We have to go like ages back.

It was just just a joke. Yeah, let's be modest,

Harsha 2:28

It's because she started very young.

Bojana 2:30

Yeah, but you see, just just earlier as we discussed, I mean, kids can be very natural right. Meaning that they can also be very not frightened at all. Because if they want to sing, they will just want to sing, right. They're not so conscious about it. So when I was in that age, they between the age of - I started when I had my first audition at the age of six. Wow, yeah, that was a long time ago. And I still remember all you know, there's a lot of vividness in my mind about it. But I was not frightened as a kid. Stage fright came later for me.

Harsha 3:07

Wow. So I think for me as well. When I was young, I was just but I never sang publicly. In fact, I wouldn't even speak publicly. So all my relatives used to think that I don't speak at all. They were like, does she have a voice? Because I used to be very quiet in front of them, like very well behaved. I won't say a word. Oh, wow. And if they say hello, I'll just say hello. And I'll just walk away quickly. So they don't ask me more questions, because I was very shy. Oh, wow. So, yeah. But when it was my immediate family at home, I'll be screaming and shouting and everything. Like any other shy kid. Yeah, yeah. But I didn't have the desire to sing publicly. So I never had stage fright. Like you said, it's a natural thing when we are young. But I think when I was a teenager, and you know, when you're going through, in school, and then they're, like, so many other girls and boys, and there's so many insecurities creeping up.

We we are like, going through puberty and changes. And so standing in front of other people.

Just being just existing around other people is already like, conscious, you know, insecure, what more going in front of other people and singing. You know?

Bojana 4:17

It's, it's not easy, you know? Um, well, say for me was, like you say, I also realised I was feeling very comfortable on stage, because, you know, I really wanted singing so much. And for me, it was my safe zone. So when I was singing there, you know, for me, it kind of like the whole world disappeared, and I can be on stage. And, but when I was offstage, oftentimes I could not be fully express, expressed than as if I was on stage. But there's also kids, there were kids who had the opposite problem, right? But especially when you can hit the age of say, 11, 12- 13, 14 to around 18. Yeah, there's a lot of self consciousness coming. And suddenly, because of the puberty, right, and all that, and how, because we growing, right, everything grows, we change our, you know, our bodies change, and you know, and we become very self conscious. And then it's, later on, I had a lot of problems. I mean, I have a lot of experience with those, like situations where people actually can, you know, also mock you, if you, you know, and bully you and things like that. And you know, that, that can also happen, it happened to me. And I thought, if I'm honest enough, I would say, you know, I remember those things. But um, what what's the best way to get out of this stage fright is that - only one thing, I guess, to remember is enough that you are there for singing for music, or for whatever you were supposed to be doing in that three or four or five minutes that you have. And it's only that only three minutes, only five minutes, only 10 minutes, and then you go, and that's it. And then more you do it. More you become confident.

Harsha 6:06

More you get used to it. Yeah.

Bojana 6:08

And used to that kind of, you know, even with the nerves, then because the nerves are getting you're getting at you. And then even with the nerves, subconsciously, slowly starting to

accept that it is going to be a part of you as a performer

for a while. Yeah. And then when you start sharing these things with people, as we're sharing it now, then you realised that a lot of people have the same problem. Yeah, the same thing. So you have this support out of your friends who are performing as well. And it makes it a little easier.

Harsha 6:40

Yeah, that's right. So talking about your experiences always helps identifying what is happening while you're experiencing stage fright, or nervousness. Like what is happening?For me, my stomach used to shake. So it would be so I'm trying to sing here. And I love I love singing, right. And I knew that oh, you know, I love singing, I think I can do this, I should push myself and push myself on stage. So I knew that it's going to be so scary. But I went up on stage. And I'm trying to sing and focus on the tune and breathing and everything. And suddenly, there's this

(heartbeat sound),

And I'm like, What is this in my stomach? There's a throbbing. And I felt as if my heart was dropping down to my stomach shooting up and dropping down over and over again. And it was shaking all my notes.

Unknown Speaker 7:24

That's typical anxiety, isn't it? When this this this middle stomach thing reacts? Can be very strong, though.

Harsha 7:29

Yes, so it was bouncing. And I'm just like,

Unknown Speaker 7:34

What is going on? And then so I was like, Okay, I'm going to change my hand. And I'm going to try this hand. And then this starts to happen. And I'm like, I'm going to use both hands. And so and then because I realised maybe it's my grip, I started using my fingers like this. I tried everything.

Bojana 7:49

Oh my god, that happened to me as well with the shaky hands, it was horrible.

I was shaken to the point where I couldn't hold my paper and it was like -. Yeah.

Harsha 7:57

So that's why I stopped I had to put my paper down because it obvious from the paper when it was shaking, maybe we will kind of see my shaking, because the papers flapping they can see it. So I put the paper down .

Bojana 8:07

Exaclty the paper doesn't help. Oh no, why do you find that you kind of have to have something in your hands to kind of squeeze (like a stress ball)

for your nerves to come down. Exactly.

Harsha 8:16

So there's a video outside the audition video on YouTube, where I'm holding the mic like that. And I'm looking up because I'm like Oh God save me from this pounding. I'm looking up, I'm looking left, I'm looking right and the mic is here. Because every time I know that it's going to shake, my notes are gonna go off. I moved the mic away. So in the entire video, I'm just singing like that. And I look, I look ridiculous. I also had very funny bangs back then. Don't google this video audition? Don't Google my name and find the audition video guys.

Yeah. So what's the so how we how can we practically resolve this issue? What do you think?

I think first of all it's, except that it is normal. And it happens to everyone. It's happened to us. And maybe even now, when we perform for important people, or if we are performing in very new situations, we're not prepared enough. It might happen to a small degree. But it's very normal. I feel that and accepting it and accept identifying your symptoms, like for me it was the shaking. And then the breathing would shake. So if you identify what, how you're expressing your nervousness, what is it that you're scared off? Then you can slowly mentally undo it and work.

Bojana 9:32

Did you discover something in particular that you were nervous about?

Harsha 9:35

So I think it was because I was afraid of sharing what I had, right? Because I was like, What if people don't like it? What if I don't do a good job? What if I fail? You know?

Bojana 9:47

So it's not about you expressing what you have? It was about you, you know, expectations of the people who are watching you? And was it because you didn't know if you're going to meet the expectations of the audience?

Harsha 10:01

I think so. And also would I meet my own expectations. Because I think I growing up, I was very, like, Oh, I must do this properly. If not, I'm not going to do it at all, you know. So it was it made me very vulnerable to put myself up on stage when I was not ready yet. So we always like oh, I want to be ready. I want to be more ready. But the thing is, we won't be ready until we actually jump and do it. Yeah, exactly. And it's the doing and the doing and the doing which will make us ready and readier and readier and better at it. And slowly now it doesn't count anymore. It's never have it hasn't happened yet.. in three years. So good

Bojana 10:38

Yeah, very good.

That pounding in the in the stomach, I never had

What what I had is like, my whole body would just start shaking and my legs will get very weak. Okay. And once I was performing, back in my native country, Macedonia, I was performing for the American Embassy. And it was the American Independence Day, I think was three years ago. Out of nowhere, out of nowhere I was, like, you know, got myself ready. My band is there. I play with the musicians that I choose. You know, I know everyone I know the repertoire, meaning, you know, the setlist of the songs, everything is perfect. And suddenly ting- it happens and then I got an attack of like anxiousness. And yeah, and it was it was- i thought, oh, what what is what is going on? I couldn't control my body anymore. And as people were talking, and then some people actually maybe will just socialise, get together, start talking, so that they can start slowly releasing the tension or, but but I didn't know what to do. And I backed off I, it was hundreds of people there and politicians and presidents and ya, it was it was like a big thing. And then I backed off. Sat down by myself completely because the embassy is on a, it's like on a hill. And there was a bench there, which was completely isolated. So I just backed off like isolated myself completely. Sitting there looking. I had a view on the town. And I was like, I close my eyes and I tried to focus on my spine. And I was sitting straight like that I just realised, oh, if you sit straight like that in the spine, like it's somehow there's nothing there. And then you can just sit there for a while. I think I kind of fell asleep.

Harsha 12:32

Okay, so it was a very comfortable position position. And you're focusing on your spine, which grounds you Yeah,

Bojana 12:38

yeah, it was kind of a meditation thing, I think. So that really helped me for about 15 minutes. So and then I could calm myself I collected myself in so I became aware of my own body of my own breathing. And being just isolated from the this bunch of a crowd of people actually really helped with with that. Okay, so then I could go back afterwards. Cool.

Harsha 13:02

I think, I think what the thing was that when they are people, and then the expectations, and then there's like, importance that we put on the people that Oh, my goodness, this person, so and so is watching me, my coaches watching me, politicians, these big people are watching me, and then our body starts to feel internalise it as or we should be afraid we should be afraid. And I think that's when our body picks up these mental notes and starts to react. But we might not be like, you know, aware that some of us might be that, okay, yes, I am panicking. So that's why removing yourself from the people and telling yourself that I'm doing this for me, I'm singing for me. I want to get better. I want to grow on I want to share my art, and just acknowledging that.

Bojana 13:49

Yes, its a very, very good approach. Yeah, because if you are good, and if you are calm, and if you know why you're doing what you're doing, then the people will be able to sense that. That'll give you a sense of calm.

Harsha 14:01

So in the cycle, right? So yeah, like, you come yourself. And then the audience gets that you're calm. And then they can actually pay attention to your message, your song, your music, rather than pay attention to the shaking paper, your hand. Yeah, so it's more likely Yeah, it's more like if we are both. If we can detach ourselves from the audience in a way and calm ourselves, then we are good, because then we can draw the audience in as a friend, rather than as a foe.

Bojana 14:30

Yeah, right. Sure. But there's also a mental maybe mental visualisation, visualisation that you can do. So if you know the place that you're performing at, if you know, who's gonna come if you know, the place, etc. So all these details, you can start imagining that in your mind, without, you know, putting different scenarios in your mind, but just imagining yourself in that room with those people in that environment, and how would you like to present your self and then as you close your eyes, we can start visualising that environment that you know, you're supposed to perform at you know, say for example, next week, and then you can practice this before you go to bed for like 15 minutes. And just live with his image for a while with this mental image of you performing somewhere. So leave there for about 15 minutes each time before you go each each day before you go to bed for like week or five days or two weeks, depending on the importance per se of the event. And you can already put your mind on on on you know, you being physically there.

Harsha 15:39

Yeah. That's true.

Bojana 15:41

Because that's if you know where you're performing , but most of us know where we're going. Right? Yeah. Doing so if I start imagining that already. So in two weeks time, for example, in a week time will be will be already halfway there.

Harsha 15:53

Exactly. So I think I didn't know about this this visualisation technique thing, but I think I do that for every performance.

Bojana 16:01

Oh, very good. Yeah. Like

Harsha 16:02

Yeah. Like knowing what the environment is going to be like, okay, will help me to will help me to feel like okay, level one is conquered, right where, okay, that I know my location. I know- i will be here, people will be there. Or people will be here and here. And so I'm already prepared to have eyes coming from there to come have voices coming from there

or like, yeah,

so I think that's really good. And also knowing

like you said, knowing where you're going to be physically and then so your body is that's not going to feel like it's a new environment and then it's going to start to feel a bit like awkward or like yeah, it's gonna feel unstable. Yeah, so I think that's very good. Yeah,

Bojana 16:42

yeah. You can also you know, if you have to perform somewhere at a venue that you do not know how it looks like, I mean, you can drop them an email or ask them you know, to give you some details of the venue maybe send you photos when you can visit their website as different specs about you know, previous events and then so when you get in touch with with that and when you get some more information I think they will really start calming your.. Yeah, your subconscious down a little bit. So -

Harsha 17:10

also the soundcheck if you can come earlier, and then the soundcheck opportunity is very good. Because you get to get a sense of stage you walk around the space, feel it make it home, you know, feel like it's your space. Yes. And then I think that helps as well. Absolutely. Yeah,

Bojana 17:25

yeah, to not just be there last minute and do everything last minute, especially in the beginning and plus, on top of that your nerves and it can be very overwhelming. Yeah. But um, yeah. Alright,

Harsha 17:37

So what about confidence building? Do you think that singing and performing in front of other people is going to or not even performing it, but just singing? Is it going to make us - does it make us more confident people? Like, make us more confident?

Bojana 17:53

Yes, yes. Because Yeah, absolutely. We are exposed. And exposure gives you confidence. Confidence comes from you doing something over and over and repeating it and getting out there. So yeah, definitely, definitely boost of confidence for sure.

Harsha 18:06

And also singing is such a, it's such a, basically using your own body as an instrument, right? So it's very raw, it's very unique. It's uniquely your voice, you know, your inner voice, and you know - producing your inner voice. Really, I feel as if makes you feel worthy, very worthy and confident. And you see the individual value in yourself because your voice is going to be different from any other voice.

Bojana 18:37

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And we have to accept that, you know, we all have a voice though. That's what put us together, right? Because you know, all the people that are in the school, and as the teachers, we will have a voice we all can sing. And so now it's only you know about getting out there and showing that voice to the world, which is wonderful. So the more you do it, you will see more you do it more you would like to do it. And yeah, it will, it will help out with a lot of things need in regards of your own self. Right. So yes, keep on doing it.

Harsha 19:10

So preparation, grounding yourself breathing, accepting your fear. Understanding why you're afraid. All this? And of course, just doing it over and over again. Right. Yes. So performance day looks good. Me coming up soon. Yeah. So look out for the performance day date.

Bojana 19:26

We are many of you know, now. Hopefully, we're going to do it in the same venue. Right.

Harsha 19:31

So then you might change, things might change might change. But I know that it is going to happen in October.

Bojana 19:36

Yeah. end of October. Yes. Right end of October.

Harsha 19:39

Okay. It's gonna be a Saturday.

Bojana 19:41

All right. So there you go. Now we've given you the tips, you have to ask us where it is, you know, how is the space like that? So when you start asking these questions, and then we can give you information on that, then you're going to get familiar with the space. So you will have less tension to perform. And then some of you know the other students already as well. So

here we are.

Harsha 20:04

Yeah. And if you really don't want to perform or you don't feel ready, come and watch. First.

Bojana 20:09

Yes, come and come and that will help you as well.

Harsha 20:12

Look at how other people are facing their fears.

Bojana 20:15

So a few of you who said that will be there and that are not that didn't come last. On the last performance day. So we are watching you. We're not going to say names but they know who they are. So yeah, please come support your colleagues or students and the performance day and yourselves in the end of the day because we are doing this for you. And Yep, thank you very much. You. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And see you.

next podcast. Yes. Bye.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai